Flying-Sucks.com

Hurrah! Finally someone found the cojones to actually DO something about an Airline’s reckless, insensitive bullying in the form of needless flight cancellations that leave passengers inconvenienced or stranded - without good cause! I’ve been in that situation before - a flight that got re-routed to a different state, allegedly due to “weather conditions” at our destination, when the person picking me up at said destination’s airport reported that the weather was fine, and not expected to change! If you’ve been there too you know how maddeningly frustrating that is.

Well hats off to Mitchell Burns - who sued Delta in small claims court and won! I’m inspired to follow his lead - the next time an airline treats me this way - canceling a flight for bogus ‘weather related’ claims - I plan to file a complaint in small claims court for whatever it costs me to get to my destinations PLUS damages for the inconvenience, pain and suffering.

This just proves that we DON’T have to put up with the airlines’ irresponsible, insensitive behavior anymore - time to force them to step up to the plate and do right by their customers. It is every person’s right to file a claim in small claims court, and if enough of us do that it will certainly get their attention!

This is all over the internet these days, so you’ve probably seen it. And yeah - it’s a joke, and a funny one, but it’s not too far off the mark so I expect that someday soon it will be more real than not, and we may not be laughing so hard…..but for now, enjoy!

New Airline Rules

Attendant:  Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket?

Passenger:  Sure.

Attendant:  You’re in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!

Passenger:  What for?

Attendant:  For telling you where to sit.

Passenger:  But I already knew where to sit.

Attendant:  Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It’s the airline’s new policy.

Passenger:  That’s the craziest thing I ever heard. I won’t pay it.

Attendant:  Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?

Passenger:  Yes, yes. All right, I’ll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.

Attendant:  Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?

Passenger:  That would be swell, thanks.

Attendant:  No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please.

Passenger:  What?

Attendant:  The airline now charges a $10 carry-on-assistance fee.

Passenger:  This is extortion….. I won’t stand for it.

Attendant:  Actually, you’re right, you can’t stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We’re about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that $10.

Passenger:  No way!

Attendant:  Sir, if you don’t comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don’t want me to do that.

Passenger:  Why not? Is he going to shoot me?

Attendant:  No, but there’s a $50 air-marshal-hailing fee.

Passenger:  Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can’t believe this.

Attendant:  Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?

Passenger:  Yes. It’s stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn’t seem to work. Can you fix it?

Attendant:  Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the Overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.

Passenger:  The airline is charging me for stagnant cabin air?

Attendant:  Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It’s the circulating air that costs 50 cents.

Passenger:  I don’t have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?

Attendant:  Certainly, sir! Here you go!

Passenger:  But you’ve given me only three quarters for my dollar.

Attendant:  Yes, there’s a change-making fee of 25 cents.

Passenger:  For cryin’ out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? What the heck can I do with this?

Attendant:  Hang onto it, sir. You’ll need it later for the lavatory.

Well the internet has been abuzz since yesterday over American Airlines’ announcement of their plans to start charging $15 for the FIRST checked bag, as well as their already implemented charge of $25 for each ADDITIONAL checked bag…….

Personally I think this is so far beyond outrageous that there isn’t even a word for it.

Yes, I know they are whining about this record-breaking cost of fuel and their need to recoup costs, but nickel-and-diming their customers will only backfire on them in the long run, or more likely, in the short run.

What’s going to happen? We talked about this as soon as the news broke, and our first thought seems to be the same as what is on many other folks’ minds………travel lighter and go carryon only. This will, of course, have disastrous consequences as the overhead bins will not be able to handle all of the extra carryon baggage, and flight attendants will be forced to conduct more gate-side checking of bags which will delay flights somewhat. This will begin a nasty downward spiral, as AA will then be forced to restrict carryon baggage to one per person (no more “one plus a laptop case or purse”…). With charges for checked bags and too-restrictive limitations on carryon bags, travelers will begin to abandon American Airlines in droves.

This can only end badly for American Airlines unless they reverse this retarded decision quickly.

Why do I think it’s a retarded decision on their part? Because there ARE other things they can do to offset their rising fuel costs without negatively impacting their customers or raising their fares.

They can get together with the other airlines and negotiate lower fuel costs by cutting out some of the greedy middle-men. This approach has been mentioned in the right circles before, but never taken seriously because of the pressures brought to bear by these same greedy middle-men (futures speculators) and the oil company lobbyists. The folks who are making obscenely huge profits on this don’t WANT fuel prices to come down and don’t CARE about you or your financial hardship or other problems.

Oil is the ONE THING our country cannot - at this point in time - do without, so it’s the ONE THING that NEEDS better regulation in terms of pricing controls and government oversight. I’m NOT anti-capitalism, but we have a disaster coming our way and the only way to avert it is for the government to step in and put a halt to the rampant speculation that is driving the cost so high. A few people should NOT be allowed to rake in billions at the expense of an entire nation.

So what can you do? Start by traveling lighter and going carryon only. This will send a message to the Airlines (are you LISTENING American?) that they need to step up to the plate and come up with better ways of dealing with rising oil prices than by gouging customers. AND WRITE TO your congressperson, senators, representatives, etc..